At a Glance

• Nicknames: Goat-Goat, GG, the G.O.A.T. goat
• Companion: Roddy Squires
• Team: The Rod Squad
• Signature move: Goat smash
• Appearance: Taller and broader than an ordinary goat, with a golden pelt and enormous symmetrical golden horns

The Finest Goat in the Herd

When Sir Roderick argues that ordinary goats cannot survive an assault by a monster made of broken glass, Roddy introduces the exception. Goat-Goat stands a head above the rest of the herd, with a broad frame, gleaming golden coat, and horns so perfectly matched that even a knight obsessed with symmetry must approve.

GG demonstrates his qualifications by charging a boulder three times his size and reducing it to fragments. Sir Roderick immediately accepts him into the newly formed Rod Squad.

Roddy’s Mount and Companion

Roddy saddles Goat-Goat for the journey and speaks to him as a trusted partner rather than livestock. The pair share an easy understanding: Roddy gives highly specific commands, and GG responds whenever the command eventually becomes “Goat smash.”

The Battle with the Glass Golem

During the Rod Squad’s assault, Goat-Goat waits while Michelle absorbs the golem’s shards and Priscilla melts its limbs with dragonfire. Once the creature is weakened, Sir Roderick finally releases GG.

Goat-Goat accelerates across the battlefield and crashes through the golem’s body with a blow heard throughout the Beandom. The remaining glass collapses into scattered shards. Roddy’s verdict is immediate: GG truly is the G.O.A.T.

Legacy

Goat-Goat survives the battle largely unharmed and continues beside Roddy through the later history of the Beandom. The Quest Remembrance Day monument depicts Squires with his goat, recognizing the pair as one heroic unit.

Chronicler’s note: Most heroic battle cries require poetry, training, or ancestral magic. “Goat smash” requires only the correct goat.

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